Posts tagged mentalhealth
“I'm not okay, are you?”

Content Warning: discussion of suicidal ideation.

September is Suicide Prevention Awareness Month. In the past, I haven’t acknowledged the cause. In fact, I stayed as far away from any mention of the word “suicide” as possible. I felt like being in mere proximity to the word would cast a light on a part of me I tried to keep hidden. The part of me that not only has attempted it in the past, but still thinks about it more frequently than I would like.

I’ve always felt such shame about my attempted suicide when I was younger, and even more shame that I still live with suicidal ideations. I wish I could say that it’s all behind me and I never have those thoughts anymore, but that simply isn’t true. Unfortunately, thanks to the stigma that still exists around mental health and mental illness, some of the shame still lives on, too.

In a time when so many people are dealing with difficult things, why do we all still try to deny that we’re struggling? If we were all honest with ourselves and each other maybe we would see more empathy being practiced.

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Mental Health Awareness Month: My Journey to Becoming Fearlessly Just Me

When I was 10, the doctor told my mom that I was 30 pounds overweight. At the time, I weighed 120 pounds and according to the infamous “chart”, I was supposed to weigh 90 pounds. It would impact the choices I would make along the way in everything from relationships and job-related experiences to how I view weight loss.

I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder and was told that what I was experiencing was depression. At that moment, I was speechless. There was a name to what I was going through. And it made me reflect on my life as a whole. My therapist told me that I probably developed this as a child because of that experience when I was 10 and she said that she was in awe that I had dealt with this for so long on my own.

So every year, when May rolls around, I celebrate Mental Health Awareness Month by sharing my story. It continues to evolve. No one is perfect and it’s perfectly okay to seek help when you need it.

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