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“I AM MORE THAN…”

Graphic is a close-up shot of a typewriter with "Power in the word" typed on the paper it holds. (Source- pxfuel.com)

By Vanessa Chica Ferreira

 Happy Poetry Month! 

 Poetry for me is the ability to create, connect, release, contemplate, be petty, to remember, it is to heal, inform, be used for activism, to honor my mother’s memory. It is a shapeshifter that changes with my needs. Poetry helps me unlearn what I was taught about how to exist in a fat body. It gives me the courage not only to advocate for myself but also for others. 


A Plastic Covered Couch

Doña Persia’s plastic-wrapped couch

invites me to rest from a long day of playing tag

Huffs “You’re too big


“Why can't you be skinny like your cousin”?

There are people outside the window chanting 

SHE’S TOO BIG, SHE'S TOO BIG


There’s a layer of sweat forming beneath me

the couch laughs

Yells  FATSO

Just before I escape 

Slaps the back of my thighs 

HARD


Doña Persia shakes her head

gives me a carnival sideshow look

serves me a heaping plate of shame 

tells me to finish it

My stomach swells and thinks 

This must be love” 


My body crumbles/ a returning

I skim through the pieces/collect the divine innocence 

What once was/before they came

Make my hands sticky with plasma/mold me to returning

The thigh bone is connected to the hip bone 

The hip bone is connected to the backbone


A honeyed gathering

The 5-year-old with her oversized bowl of cereal and morning cartoons

The 11-year-old  who was warned not to have seconds

Big girls don't find husbands

The teenager who ached to be wanted


All bathed/fed/ dressed for the occasion


The thigh bone is connected to the hip bone 

The hip bone is connected to the backbone

The backbone is connected to the neck bone


The head returns to its master

Reclaims its body 


I Am More Than

I am more than 

The awakening of cruelty in middle school children

a too big to ride at the carnival

a missed high school graduation

a look at her eat

I am more than 

a pretty face

heavy limbs

double chin 

The size of my belly

I am more than 

a series of failed shopping trips

lists of what to eat, 

what not to eat 

and when to eat it

a doctor's example of caution

a lover’s secret

The things you start to believe

when you hear them enough

These things they stick

even after you grow up or wash

There’s something left behind 

a permanent kind of thing

a whole life’s work

When my weary body 

asks for a soak 

and the tub isn’t enough

I make due

gather water at my feet

up towards my ankles

the round of my belly

across a long stretch of back

a delicate dance with gravity

a whole body of a universe

each scoop is an act of redemption

an asking for forgiveness

My body does not notice

It does not fault

It finds its cure in salt


I invite you to consider writing an “I am more than” poem

  1. List all the negative things you were told or led to believe about your body,  begin with the prompt “I am more”. 

  2. List the ways your miraculous body supports you.

  3. Look at your lists, start to make connections, and find the rhythm of your poem. 

  4. Once completed, be vulnerable and share it with others. 

  5. I would love to read what you wrote, follow me and tag me on social media. 

Live Big! 

Vanessa Chica


Headshot of poet Vanessa Chica, a fat brown-skinned Latinx woman with long dark hair.

Vanessa Chica Ferreira (she/her) is an NYC educator, poet, playwright, fat activist/model, co-editor, and producer for RoblesWritesProductions Inc., and founder of theWORDbox. She co-wrote and performed in a 3 woman play titled “Live Big Girl” which debuted at The National Black Theatre. Her work can be found in "The BX Files" Contemporary Poetry from the Bronx" Anthology, “The Abuela Stories Project” The Acentos Review, and Great Weather For Media anthology. 

For more info visit www.vanessachica.com  

Instagram URL- https://www.instagram.com/vanessachicawrites/

 Facebook URL- https://www.facebook.com/Vlovely

Twitter URL- https://twitter.com/PoetryChica

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