In this excerpt from Trevor Kezon's original Medium piece, the writer explores the experience of being fat during the pandemic. Find the full article and other writing by Trevor at trevorkezon.medium.com

As a fat person, the only time I was happy to have my BMI shoved in my face was when it made me eligible to receive the COVID vaccine.

A week after my first shot, I sipped my coffee and opened Twitter for my usual morning doom scrolling. I noticed Obesity and Krispy Kreme were trending and knew it was going to be a bad day. Krispy Kreme had announced that they were offering a free donut every day for the rest of the year to people who could show proof of vaccination. In true fashion, Twitter quickly spiraled out into a fatphobic shitstorm. This was exacerbated by a study reporting that 48% of millennials reported an average weight gain of 41 pounds. The anti-fat bile that spewed forth quickly overtook my relief and reminded me that the vaccine couldn’t protect me from the fatphobia waiting for me at the other end of the pandemic.

I’ve spent the entire pandemic worrying that my weight made me more susceptible to COVID, but now that the world’s nearly reopen, I have an entirely new set of concerns.

Early on in the pandemic, my Pilates instructor offered to do virtual sessions with me over zoom. I shrugged it off because I thought the gyms couldn’t possibly be closed that long. Two weeks later, my back was a mess, and I was so anxious I could barely function. I took my instructor up on his offer, having two sessions a week to aid my anxiety and as a marker that time was in fact passing.

A few months later, my social media were full of people reeling from the changes the pandemic had brought to their bodies, dubbing the newly added weight “the COVID 19.” One day during my session, my instructor stopped and complimented me for my commitment during a session. “You’re really doing amazing. I have to ask, have you lost weight?”

My skin crawled. “Not exactly.” 

Trevor Kezon is a Chicago-born writer who currently resides in Los Angeles. He primarily writes fiction for young audiences and his non-fiction has been featured in the New York Times. He also co-hosts The Big Fat Gay Podcast, which discusses issues that fat people and their admirers face in relationships, media, and society.

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