How A Doctor’s Allyship Is Changing My Life
Photo shows a group of four medical professionals of varying body sizes (three femme-appearing and one male-appearing) dressed in blue medical scrubs or white coats, two with stethoscopes, standing in front of window blinds.
By Dawn Clark
I fear the medical community. My weight is always the problem. Ear infection or tonsillitis? You're too fat. Sprained ankle? You need to exercise more. (I sprained it playing basketball). Annual checkup? You will be dead by 30 if you don’t lose weight.
Medical avoidance was the norm after my teenage years. The loathing and judgement from medical systems was too much. Avoidance put me in the hospital twice. I could not bear the thought of going to the doctors. I would cry at the thought of it. If for some reason I had to go, the entire time was panic-inducing.
Fast forward to 2020 and my forties. I was a few years into learning about Health at Every Size (HAES), weight biases, and Fat Liberation. I decided to take the leap and sought after a weight-neutral doctor. After researching in my area, I found one. I called for an appointment. It was months before an opening.
I was nervous. My best friend drove me to my appointment. I had heard awful things about this particular medical system and wasn’t sure I had made a good choice.
In the first few minutes an amazing thing happened. After hearing a brief history of my medical experiences, the doctor apologized. She apologized on behalf of all the terrible doctors I had seen. She said that those things should have never happened. I was in tears.
She asked me what I felt needed addressing. We made lists. She said we could go as fast or slow on any/all the concerns. She ordered all sorts of labs. She was thorough in a way that showed me how much she actually cared. Even the most urgent issues were treated nonjudgmentally. She let me drive the medication regimen. “Let me know if you feel it is too much or too hard.We can always slow down.”
I made my follow up appointment, got my labs done, and left. In the car, I broke down and cried again. “That was the best doctor’s appointment I ever had.”I gushed to my best friend the whole ride back to her house about the experience.
In the months after that appointment, I was engaging with medical systems again. My doctor always encouraged me when she knew I had to see someone who was an unknown regarding weight-neutral care. She was very sympathetic when an invasive exam with another provider didn’t go well.
She has empowered me to be my own advocate. To speak up when biases are on display. To share about how we need to be treated by the entire medical system. I can honestly say that my life is better because of her and her fierce determination that every person deserves care.
I still fear medical systems, but now I know I have an ally.
Pic of Dawn Clark, a white, female presenting with short brown hair, brown eyes. She is wearing a sleeveless rainbow stripped top and yellow hoop earrings.
Dawn (she/her) is a couple of years into fat activism. She has done advocacy previously for housing and food insecurity. She has had the privilege to share her experiences in fat phobia with medical students and eating disorder professionals.
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