Content warning:

This piece includes the use of terminology for fat-attracted people that some use as important identifiers and others find objectionable.

By Mycroft Masada Holmes

Happy LGBTQIA+ Pride Month 2022!

This month and every month, I’m proud to be a queer and nonbinary trans person, a fat-attracted person married to a wonderful superfat queer gender non-conforming / butch / mas(s)culine-presenting woman, and an ally in the fat liberation movement.  

I am not writing this piece to receive “ally cookies” (rewards from an oppressed community for supporting them in ways that everyone should as part of being a mensch, a good person).  My kavannah, intention, is to show other thin people some ways they can begin, maintain or grow their practice of allyship with the fat community.  Whether we are LGBTQIA+ or not, wherever we are and go in life, we can and must share the good news of fat liberation.  We must center fat voices, and we must add our own in solidarity.  It is not always safe, or without cost, but it is far safer and less costly for us than for fat folks.    

I’m proud to be a queer and trans person and leader who advocates for fat liberation in the LGBTQ+ community, and LGBTQIA+ liberation in the fat community.  Particularly when fat trans people are denied access to trans healthcare based on BMI/size/shape, which like all medical fatphobia is not evidence-based or otherwise ethical.  And there are many other overlaps in the Venn diagram of queer/trans and fat issues.  Including the issue of disclosure – better known as the lifelong process of being “out” or “open” about one’s marginalized identities.   

I’m proud of being fat-attracted*, and of having a fat partner.  Online and off, I strive to model an ethical, joyful, liberatory form of fat attraction, affection, sexuality, romance and relationship.  I want to help other thin fat-attracted people discern and live into their vital roles as partners and allies in truly open, loving, anti-oppressive ways.  I want to help fat fat-attracted people feel seen, heard and supported.  I want to show people of all sizes that fat attraction and partnership are possible, distinctive, and beautiful. 

I’m so proud of my spouse for founding and co-adminning the DMV Fat-Positive Community and Big & Tall Style For Butches & Others, as well as her other work around mas(s)culine fatshion.  I’m also proud of her work in the academic field of Fat Studies, and her support of my work there.  I co-admin the DMV FPC with her, and contribute to Big & Tall Style.  And I share resources in Fat Club For Men, founded by fat advocate Marilyn Wann.

As I like to say, there can be no admiration without alliance!  If we admire members of an oppressed group – platonically, romantically and/or sexually – that we are not members of, we must ally with them in their struggle.  If we love fat people, that love must be a verb, that includes taking action towards their liberation.  If we want fat people, we must want them to be free, and work for their freedom.   

Our orientations and preferences are a complicated combination of nature and nurture.  And some people are asexual and/or aromantic.  But if you experience sexual/romantic attraction, yet not towards any of the millions of fat people on this planet, you have some work to do on that aspect of your fatphobia.  I’m still in that process myself, and always will be.      

(*I sometimes use the terms Fat Admirer (FA) and (Chubby) Chaser – while being mindful that these terms are triggering for some fat people, and that they have historically referred to men.  I support the term Fat Partner Preferred (FPP), but I am Fat Partner Required.)

I’m proud to be a Jewish, Jewscopalian (as in the Episcopal Church), and interfaith person and leader whose calling includes what I call Spirituality At Every Size (and Judaism At Every Size, and so on) – helping fat people access and be celebrated in the faith/religious/spiritual practices and communities they feel called to.  I share the good news that fat liberation is an essential part of tikkun olam, world healing.  I’m kvelling, proud, of Fat Torah, which brings fat liberation to and through the Jewish community, where I’m on the Board.  I’m proud of Westminster Flabby (a play on Westminster Abbey in England), my fat liberation social media project, which turns four years old this month; my brilliant spouse came up with the name, originally for the offline home we share with our dogters.    

I’m proud to advocate for fat liberation in the disability/illness justice community, and disability/illness justice in the fat community.  I am called to this work especially since my spouse has become disabled by chronic illness, and her challenges have been compounded by medical and other fat oppression. I seek to practice and promote Health At Every Size®, Intuitive Eating and intuitive movement in ways that include and work for fat people who are disabled and/or ill.  To help the anti-diet movement (which works to dismantle diet and “wellness” culture) become less fatphobic, ableist and healthist.  How much more so during this pandemic.  This includes my transcription work for Christy Harrison’s Food Psych podcast and Intuitive Eating Fundamentals online course.  

“Health” is a problematic, oppressive and complicated concept.  And, everyone’s health is mostly controlled by genetics and social determinants, not our personal choices (like food and movement).  Some people will never be “healthy” or abled, and most of us will become ill and/or disabled at some point(s).  Too, no one should have to try to pursue “health” to deserve liberation.  At the same time, everyone should have access to the holistic health care, and self-care, that they need for their wellbeing.            

Again, happy Pride!  May you have a flabulous month, including your continued discernment and action around your work for fat liberation.  I look forward to seeing you at Fat Liberation Month in August.

Mycroft Masada (they/them) is a nonbinary trans and queer Jewish and interfaith leader with 30+ years of experience, particularly called to pursue LGBTQ+, fat and illness/disability liberation. They moved to Gaithersburg, Maryland (Montgomery County near Washington DC) from Boston in 2014. Mycroft is a Fat Torah board member and a TransEpiscopal Steering Committee member, as well as a chapter author in the nonfiction anthologies “OtherWise Christian 2 : Stories Of Resistance” (2020) and “OtherWise Christian 3 : What Shall Prevent Me?” (2022). They are also the creator of the Westminster Flabby fat liberation social media project, a transcriptionist for Christy Harrison’s Food Psych podcast and the Intuitive Eating Fundamentals online course, and a blogger for Goodwill of Greater Washington’s Finding Your Good. Mycroft is an advocate, organizer, consultant, educator, trainer, writer, artist, and thrifter. With their spouse Julia McCrossin, they co-admin the DMV Fat-Friendly Community, and co-parent two dogters.

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